Who remembers the age of the girl boss?
Decked out in millennial pink and a touch of black to add edge - everyone was seeking to be the boss.
As a Black woman though, I don’t remember a time since our forced migration to this land of opportunity when we weren’t doing it all and still really not having it all. What do I mean by that?
Black women, by and large throughout our diasporic history had to simultaneously carry emotional burdens and work labor burdens, so to be beholden to this glorified idea of “girl bossing” seems to be something that I truly had no business subscribing to. This ideal is tailored to the idea that I and other Black women have had the opportunity to sub out of labor.
I admit…I fell into the allure of the empowerment and the breaking of glass ceilings, but after further knowledge and deep exploration of history and movements I began to understand the limitation in the seemingly inclusive *girl boss era* that really didn’t leave room for Black women uplift. Meaning the movement was never inclusive.
Now before the trad wives try to use this post to further prove their WRONG points regarding women’s rights and feminism as this big bad wolf - don’t.
This ain’t it.
I’ve seen tiktoks and reels that women want to go back in time and fight women who wanted to work, and although it made me giggle - it did make me really think that we as Black women by and large were not working?
When have Black women and collectively Black people have had radical rest?
Reading “Rest is Resistance” by Tricia Hersey was a personal reset for me, who fell victim to “grind culture” and “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”.
I am not a robot, and honestly falling into these laborious ideals have never really benefit collective Black liberation.
This idea that my output determines my worth has been used against Black bodies to subscribe us to an idea that we are only worthy through our labor.
We have seen movements use the contributions for collective liberation against us time and time again from the American Revolution, labor movements with the Atlanta washerwomen, Women liberation and rights, Stonewall with Marsha P Johnson, and more movements that have been elevated by Black people, in particular Black women.
I appreciate more of Black women getting into homesteading, restful hobbies, or just believing in their own merits and realize that working yourself to an early grave isn’t achieving and does more harm than good.
The belief of taking rest and being present in the moment with family, friends, and laughter is pure Black joy and radical in itself.
So this is my message to my Black women and people, I chose rest.
I am listening to my body. Taking that extra time in the morning to stretch, to mediate, to pray. To go touch some grass.
to BREATHE.
I am slowing trying to heal and unsubscribed to this very white belief of my worth as a Black person globally that has constantly abused my body and worth.
This is Black joy.
This is acceptance of self.
IN THE CROSSROADS: INSPIRING PATHS
with this new series, I will be interviewing women who I admire and hoping their inspiring paths will help others who are either in a crossroad or looking for something to inspire them to push them forward to their pursuits and dreams
We are highlighting Dr. Elizabeth Fadoju, the dynamic force behind the blog "Floss and All," where she candidly shares her journey to becoming "The Tooth Fairy." Born in Lagos, Nigeria, and raised in Baltimore, Maryland, Dr. Fadoju's path to dental excellence is nothing short of inspiring.
With a Bachelor of Science from the University of Maryland College Park and a minor in Spanish Language and Communication, she pursued her dental dreams at Columbia University College of Dental Medicine. There, she earned both a Master of Arts in Science and Dental Education and a Doctor of Dental Surgery (DDS), all while being commissioned through the Health Professions Scholarship Program in 2017.
Dr. Fadoju's career has taken her from Branch Health Clinic in San Diego to the USS DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER (CVN69), where she deployed for seven months during the COVID-19 pandemic. Her exemplary service includes being handpicked as Dental Administrative Fellow to RADM Rick Freedman and earning a Fellowship in the Academy of General Dentistry.
Currently, she is a Comprehensive Dentistry Resident at the Naval Postgraduate Dental School, and now (as of last week) has her Master of Science in Oral Biology! Recognized as a 2021 Top 30 under 30 Alumnus by the University of Maryland College Park Terrapin Club, Dr. Fadoju’s accolades also include the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal, among others. Join us as we dive into the inspiring journey of Dr. Elizabeth Fadoju in the In the Crossroads: Inspiring Paths Series!
How do you balance your career with your creative passions
Fortunately, my career allows for quite a bit of creativity. I lean into some of my interests that have relevance in dentistry, namely photography and patient communication.
What are some creative outlets you've explored outside of work?
I love to read and write. While these days my reading mostly consists of dental journals and research articles for my masters thesis, I have a stack of leisure books and Sunday NYTimes papers to dig into this summer.
I have started several blog posts during my last few years in the Navy and look forward to getting my thoughts on paper.
Have you ever turned a creative hobby into a side hustle or business? Share your experience!
Never! I admire people like you, Niccara, who can take something they are interested in and use it to meet a need in others. I don’t know many politics girls who also model, podcast, write and have a whole charcuterie business!
How do you find time for creativity in your busy schedule?
There is always time for things you really care about. I find that when I lose steam in academic or professional pursuits, an intentional pivot to focus on something creative helps me relax and makes me feel like I am being productive. Self care is not selfish.
What advice do you have for people who are looking to start a new creative project or hobby?
There is no lack of information these days. Social media offers windows into the lives of day to day people and is a great start to explore community in a side passion. Before I start anything I always do my research and survey the landscape. Often I land at a book, a blog or an a podcast that is exploring that very thing.
How has pursuing creative outlets impacted your mental health and well-being?
It has reminded me that I am a whole person not identified solely by my career. When academic stress or professional anxiety starts to creep up or my imposter syndrome rears its head, I find peace in knowing that I have unique talents that cannot be measured the same way as my 9-5 and that they can often reach people in ways that working as a dentist cannot. I am grateful to be able to do both.
Have you faced any challenges or setbacks in your creative journey? How did you overcome them?
My creative journey has been rather limited so I can’t say I have faced any setbacks. I often think what life would look like if I allowed myself to lean in all the way.
What role does creativity play in your personal and professional development?
It is what drives me to continue on hard days. I love taking photos like most millennials and while my peace signs and duck lips are not revolutionary, dental photography is a space that offers a lot of use for patient, provider and lab alike. I gravitate towards other clinicians who share there work and look for ways to improve. As a natural writer and communicator, I look for ways to connect with my patients and other young people on the journey to join the profession.
How do you stay motivated and inspired to continue pursuing your creative passions?
I am not always consistent, but am encouraged by the feedback from my community when I do take the time to share my mind and my creativity.
What resources or tools do you recommend for women seeking to explore their creativity?
Social media is great but often there is much to be gained in books. These days audiobooks, podcasts, all can summarize a great deal of content in a way that is digestible.
currently obsessed with.
where I went.
The BookHouse Hotel in Kennett Square, PA









this magical bookish place is truly what dreams are made of.
The Bookhouse Hotel was a former rare bookstore, and they have truly brought that magic to the forefront. My friend Jordun Lawrence, writer of the Midday Snack, and I went for a Memorial Day weekend getaway of our dreams. The food, the people, and the atmosphere was perfect for two future novelists to relax and recharged. Filled with good eats and Princess Diaries & Parent Trap rewatches. Highly recommend for folks in the DMV. It was like an hour and 30 minute drive from Baltimore filled with the Max Martin producer playlist fueling the journey.
What App I’m Obsessed With.
Libby
Yall - Libby and me go together real bad. Now, I have suggested this app to so many people, but I have never personally used it because I didn’t have an e-reader and now I have one…well we stuck together like glue. If you live in Maryland, it is super easy to get a library card online if you have do not want to go in person and you can even do it through the app. I have Kindle, and it is super easy to download the book once it becomes available on your Kindle. This is perfect for book club cause some of the books are ones I like to keep to be honest. Definitely get this app.
Niccara’s Book Club
what I’m reading.
the plot.
Authors June Hayward and Athena Liu were supposed to be twin rising stars. But Athena’s a literary darling. June Hayward is literally nobody. Who wants stories about basic white girls, June thinks.
So when June witnesses Athena’s death in a freak accident, she acts on impulse: she steals Athena’s just-finished masterpiece, an experimental novel about the unsung contributions of Chinese laborers during World War I.
So what if June edits Athena’s novel and sends it to her agent as her own work? So what if she lets her new publisher rebrand her as Juniper Song—complete with an ambiguously ethnic author photo? Doesn’t this piece of history deserve to be told, whoever the teller? That’s what June claims, and the New York Times bestseller list seems to agree.
But June can’t get away from Athena’s shadow, and emerging evidence threatens to bring June’s (stolen) success down around her. As June races to protect her secret, she discovers exactly how far she will go to keep what she thinks she deserves.
what you should be reading.
Eloquent Rage by Brittany Cooper
As I was getting more into womanism, of course I studied the greats and I have to say Brittany Cooper is one of them.
I have never felt so seen and heard from a book. ‘Eloquent Rage’ captures Black “rage” as it properly should be characterized as passion. This “rage” is what Serena, Serena. Michelle, Michelle… and more importantly you you.
This eloquent rage keeps us, honest and making sure that we are looking out for the good of all people not just the highest among us.
See ya in two weeks!