Failure is also Success
Failure isn't always bad.
“You had to fail, Bree. You had to fall.”
“Why?” I exclaim.
“Because you had to rise.” He steps closer. “A true leader has to know every side of her battle: the wins, the losses, the enemies, the allies, the good, and the bad. And she has to know who has her back, without the titles and legacies.”
~ Oathbound by Tracy Deonn
This passage healed me in more ways than one.
I’ve had this newsletter sitting in my drafts for over three months because in theory we know failure must happen in order for us to grow, but boy does that sh*t hurt. Whether in love, business, family, or the many multitudes of ways failure appears to us on this journey in life… it stinks.
For quite some time, I have felt stuck. I have felt like I’m in the proverbial crossroads, looking at the many forks in the road and trying to decide which path will I take.
After months and I still have months to go with this contemplation, I know whatever the road I do take will have to be bold and scary.As much as I fear the unknown, the queen Beyoncé once said, “My fears can’t go where I am headed.”
It has been on my heart for some time that I’ve been trying to mold existing opportunities and/or structures to be what I would like, when it may require a bold step into a direction I have never been before.
I used to think I would have everything figured out by my mid-thirties but life has given me so many wonderful opportunities, and I have failed in a few of them. I have been fired, counted out, minimized, and discounted. I have felt like an absolute failure. Scared when opportunities presented themselves and when they didn’t. I have felt lonely and afraid of the many losses I took back to back and prayed for relief.
Failure has been my greatest mentor and strongest advocate. Through her sometimes cruel punishments, I learned what I was made of and who I was. I learned who was there for me and who wasn’t. I learned that I do not have to take everything on myself. Asking your community for help isn’t weakness, but strength and power that shows great love.
Much like my girl, Bree Matthews (Legendborn Cycle), I have despised to be the leader, the go-to person. I didn’t want to guide people to error or failure because the care I walk into the world about people and their lives makes me not want to be that person.
The idea of having people depend on you is a very scary situation especially when you care about them. I had to learn that the fact that many people trust my opinions and leadership to lean on me despite the mistakes I have made and my failures only add to my expertise. Those failures do not minimize the hard earn lessons I have learned through the scars and tears but add to the fabric of the tapestry of the life I am building. Word to my earlier newsletter, Making a Statement Life.
The healing work through failure can be transformational in many ways that is sometimes not highlighted when we talk about the woes of failure. The healing comes when even though you failed, you dusted yourself - evaluated the lessons- jump back in the saddle to pivot. The art of the pivot is the one of the biggest markers to your rise.
It is okay to be sad in your failure. You are allowed a time to grieve the vision you envision for yourself and your life. Once you go through that grieving period, remember to create the belief of yourself back into your heart in the midst of your healing.
You are beautiful & fiercely made and this failure will be your stepping stone to the triumphant return in the beautiful story you are creating that is your life.
IN THE CROSSROADS: INSPIRING PATHS
with this new series, I will be interviewing women who I admire and hoping their inspiring paths will help others who are either in a crossroad or looking for something to inspire them to push them forward to their pursuits and dreams
For this installment, we are highlighting a creative guru and all around bad a** , Jessica Johnson.
Jessica Johnson is a creative strategist and all around creative. Prior to beginning work in the tech industry, she was an award-winning Social Engagement Producer at the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture. Jessica holds a master’s degree in Journalism from Temple University and earned her Bachelor of Science in Fashion and Textile Management at North Carolina State University. Jessica has worked in multiple industries including fashion, higher education, and advertising. She is interested in exploring practical uses for new media and finding new ways to communicate across audiences. Jessica is also passionate about fashion history from the African American perspective and activating archives in the digital world. Check out her substack, Politique Noire.
Jump into this interview and learn more about this woman and her journey to find liberation even through corporate navigation.
Can you tell us about your current career and how you discovered your passion for your creative pursuit?
I’m a creative strategist working with brands to create content online in the fashion, beauty, retail and political spaces. There was a point in 2019 that I became disconnected with myself, so, in an effort to learn more about myself and how I move in a room I signed up for beginner pole dance class, from there I was hooked. I began my pole journey at a local studio in Maryland, but soon everything shut down due to COVID-19. I chose to buy an at-home pole to continue learning. During the pandemic I was struggling to create time to separate from work for lunch and after work hours, so I began using my pole to create that safe space during my days.
What challenges did you face when trying to balance your traditional career with your creative interests?
My biggest challenge in balancing pole and work is sharing with colleagues and friends. The stigma attached to pole dancing is highly sexual, however, in reality, pole dancing is an intense bodyweight workout that allows you to make beautiful art.
Was there a pivotal moment that inspired you to take your creative pursuits more seriously?
I started sharing videos of my progress online and so many of my friends cheered me on and shared their excitement about being inspired by my journey. This led me to earn my teaching certification in Pole 1/2 and Spinning Pole. And, one day, I hope to open a pole studio.
How has pursuing your creative passions alongside your career enriched your life?
Being a pole dancer has allowed me to express my creativity in new ways, challenge myself in new ways, and helped me create community with beautiful people who share like-minded views of body positivity.
What advice would you give to someone who feels stuck in their career and is yearning for a creative outlet?
My best advice is to just go for it. Don’t think about what others will think about what brings you joy. Your life is your journey, and no one else's. Be unapologetic in your pursuits.
What resources or communities have you found most helpful in nurturing your creative side?
I love following pole artists on social media. Seeing people try new things and sequences inspires me and there are a lot of free tutorials. I also love being connected to a local pole gym because there’s so many amazing people of all ages and it’s really great to be able to learn together and cheer each other on.
How has your perspective on success changed since embracing both your career and creative interests?
I think it’s changed my perspective on what art and beauty are. I also believe pole dancing helped me further believe in not allowing people to put me in a box and has encouraged me to show up confidently in all spaces as myself.
BUILDING COMMUNITY
Over at The Bookish Hottie & …But Make It Books - we are building community! We hosted our monthly book club over at BMIB and hosted at a midnight release for Oathbound by Tracy Deonn at Charm City Books (she even made a guest appearance)!
If you love books, make sure you keep up with us.
currently obsessed with.
what I’m watching.
With Love, Meghan.
thank you, Princess Meghan.
Covid took away my ability to host people, and the release of With Love, Meghan made me realize how much I missed making wonderful food and hosting people. As well as the benefit of slow mornings. Find the recipes and crafts here.
What I am Listening To
Knocks Me Off My Feet Apple Music Station
Me and 70s soul music have been in a tight grip since my Scandal rewatch but also like always cause I stayed at my grandmother’s house.
And that’s it for this installment of Whiskey Fix.
See ya in two-ish weeks!